Tweaking or Talking
Are we tweaking or Talking
What is the talking stage? I really need someone to tell me, like give a full blown dictionary definition because until then it’s not real to me. I’m not going to lie, this is a new found understanding I’ve come to terms with because I’ve learned that labeling anything puts more feelings into something that is already hard to stay neutral in.
Let’s just think about it, what people do call the talking stage is really the getting to know you, low maintenance time when things are really about just testing the waters. Can I only stick my foot on this side of the pool? Just think about the so many unanswered questions. Want to know why there are so many? BECAUSE THIS STAGE SHOULDN’T BE LABELED. We either date or we don’t. That’s it. I know, I know we can’t tell our hearts that things are just this black and white, but they are. We set these standards in the very beginning that we don’t even realize can turn the times that should be the most fun into us being way too into our feelings. So, it’s time to handle the hard truth ladies. It’s time to let go of this idea of a talking stage and I’ll give you three reasons why.
1. Can you talk to more than one person? I stated this earlier, but I guarantee you still haven’t come up with an answer because there isn’t one. “ That’s something you both would just need to talk about.” That’s what you’re thinking right? I did too, not going to lie until I asked myself this question. “ What happens if he does?” Even after we make a verbal agreement, he didn’t technically cheat on me because we weren’t in a relationship. He’s a lot of things, don’t get me wrong, but just like this stage, it’s hard to label.
2. When does the talking stage start? When you guys first start texting? When they send the first good morning text? When you guys go on your first date or is that just considered dating? There is no clear starting point. Want to know why, because it’s not real. Feelings creep in and we start investing more time than what we probably want to on a person in the beginning , but sadly we just have to stop trying to label wanting to stalk the persons social media as anything more than just that. That sounds a little harsh and I’m halfway kidding, but really it is just that simple.
3. We tend to rush things that are already planned out in our heads. We already have it made up in our minds what we want this person to be. Labeling what you guys have going on as more than just someone you’re interested in can make us speed up the talking, dating, getting to know you time because with them being given this label, they are also given our time and stresses if we want to be honest because being unsure is stressful.
Look girl, I know a lot of times we just feel like we need that reassurance that this person is going to be in our life and not waste our time, but we just have to go with the flow at this point because we are going through too much for the “ What are we” to be one added problem. Guys and girls now a days aren’t really sure if they’re trying to be faithful or still live in what they think is a good time and we don’t need to be with anyone who isn’t willing to make that choice.
