Now You're Talking My Language

I’ve been reading about love languages lately because this topic seems to be up there with zodiac signs. I recently had the conversation on if things work better in a relationship if you guys have similar or different ways of expression. All the way up until I was talking to my brother I swore that I needed someone with the opposite love language as me.

I think I’m a mix of quality time and acts of service type person. Growing up my family definitely wasn’t the type to give words of affirmation in compliments or saying

I love you all the time. We honestly treat each other as soon as we walk into a room, but somehow we receive love out of that. How I remember love in my house was us noticing the little things. I started to like a certain type of ice cream so my dad would have it when I got home from school. My older brother started eating crunch bars all the time so whenever I went to the store I would just pick it up. The small things went a long way. The time we spent in the kitchen watching fear factor together meant way more than any actual gift I received.

So, when I started getting into the dating scene I looked for someone who showed their love through affection and words of affirmation, maybe even buying gifts because I felt that those were the areas I lacked in. While this is true, I’m not the super affectionate type, so someone that will initiate the hand holding and close touching is a bonus. There is a major key to all of this though. A reason I now think any five of the love languages can be mixed.

You have to be with someone who cares enough to pick up on what your love languages are and act on them. To me, it means that much more if that isn’t necessarily their love language because they are truly taking the time to adjust to you.

This is where I think my problem lies. I find someone that’s super affectionate or constantly giving me words of affirmation and although appreciated, that’s not my number one sign of showing love. I would react more to them sending me a playlist they think I’d like or asking if I wanted to watch movies and make food because that’s what’s important to me. I should also be willing to grab their hand sometimes as we walk or compliment them when they wear something I like because although that isn’t what I would naturally do. It’s what I’m willing to do for someone I claim I care about.

So I’ve learned through my millions of quizzes and articles read that love languages are just another thing that when broken down is something we will need to compromise with as a couple. Understanding how they show love can change so much in how we receive it. Noticing the small things is always something I think us as women mention to men as the easiest thing to do that would go a long way. Remembering just because we tend to show love in one or two ways most times doesn’t mean we can’t try new things. We love a well rounded queen.