How Did I Find "You"
How did I find “ You”
I was struggling to figure out what I was trying to say in this blog post. I kept writing and erasing because every writer knows the feeling of when words just don’t seem to fit together. I’ve been binge watching
“You” in my times of writer's block and then. Duh. I finished the second season in three days and Joe somehow spoke to me. So here we are. I went from watching a show for background noise to thinking of all the “Joe’s” I know.
It was late Monday night halfway into winter break. The Twitter games were starting because college kids don’t know how to be bored. I usually don’t think much of them, just scroll through my time line maybe if it’s a good night I find something interesting. This night was different though. The boy who was in my nine a.m lecture that sat in the front to try to stay awake, the same guy who stays three floors up from me. You, decided to play a game tonight. An honest DM. Nothing too special, but I couldn’t miss my chance as I watched emojis filter through my screen. So of course I liked it. From there is where we started. That honest DM you probably thought nothing about brought me to you.
Made up story, but it sounds more how this generations Joe would seem. I look at this romanticized psychopath of a man on my screen for 10 episodes and I think I finally found the idea I was looking for. I think I finally found you. After watching the show and reflecting on past situations I’ve encountered, I’ve come to the conclusion that it may not be someone as extreme as the Joe we see on the screen, but we have all probably met someone who shares characteristics that draw you to their toxic behavior and here are the top 3 reasons you are so infatuated with them:
1. They took the time to learn about you: Someone who notices the small things. Who doesn’t want that? They pick up on the way you never eat the sausage on the pizza they order so they get cheese next time. They see that you’ve been stuck on a starbucks drink so they pick it up for you on the way to your house. Joe learned everything about the girl he was choosing to get involved with down to their biggest insecurity. He knew what area the girl needed the most validation in and used it to his advantage. He confronted all the things they didn’t take the time themselves to uncover.
2. They ensure love is worth fighting for: No relationship is going to be perfect, no relationship will not have its arguments and hard times. Sometimes it’s hard to decipher what’s “ work through” worthy though
( I’m definitely still working on it). The Joe’s of the world will make everything a reason you guys should be stronger together. Make you feel like if you aren’t willing to stay through anything, this was never really love. There comes a point where you have to choose yourself and these types of people will make it very hard even maybe make you feel a little guilty about accepting that.
3. You feel like they are choosing you: There is always going to be someone else with potential. Having someone that makes you feel confident in them being all about you is what we latch on to. Joe always singled out his muse. Made her feel like she was the only one he could ever think about loving and how could you not stay with someone like that? Someone choosing you should never make you feel trapped. If they have chosen to love you they will want what makes you happy regardless of if that’s with them or not.
The red flags are there from the beginning. Joe just doesn’t wake up one day and turn on a switch, he builds off all of these characteristics over time. We don’t hate characters like him because there is always an excuse. Always a reason on why his love didn’t always feel right. No more excuses. No more Joe’s unless we are watching him for season 3. We are soooo over You.
