Dear Dark Skin Girl, This Ones For You.

I have been debating on if I should write this because I didn’t feel like the dark skin woman that had the strong enough story to speak on this topic. I never had someone call my skin appealing or tell me that I should desire to be lighter directly, but the subliminals. The subliminals are harder to notice, but not any easier to stomach.

I have been in rooms with guys who say they “just prefer lighter skin” while countering their statement with every reason darker skin isn’t equal. I’ve been told “ I like dark skins too” while naming off the Justine Skye’s, Ryan Destiny, Gabrielle union’s, who are all beautiful don’t get me wrong, but they didn’t ask to be the staple of dark skin women.

Take this past men’s views and preferences because we all know that there is no “ winning” there. Take this beyond romantic views period. I’ve also been told after a long summer that I’ve gotten darker, but not to worry because I’ll get back to ‘normal’ in the winter. I’ve sat around in groups that push for “ Morgan, you’re not really dark skin, I’d say brown skin,” as if that was doing me a favor? Never direct, yet still never sitting right with me.

I say all of this to say, I blame slavery.

Kidding... but not really. I think it really does go that far back with us. It’s like the invisible brown paper bag test is floating over our heads and hidden in the word preference… let’s not get into how much that word is misused. That can be a whole separate blog posting.

Right now, especially, we are fighting so many battles that fighting each other should be the last thing we take on. Somehow though, Ari Lennox Slander and the “Who’s badder” questions still pop up on my timeline starting a debate that has no end. It’s all deeper. Once I put that into perspective, I realized that no one had to speak directly to me in order for this to be a topic worth speaking about because it’s deeper than just one individual dark skin story.

This topic has recently been on my mind because I’ve seen a heightened number of posts that were speaking on colorism and fetisizing having mixed babies and it all just made me think on not only my personal story of being a darker woman, but what I wish someone would have told me.

I want this post to go to the little dark brown girl who isn’t sure how to feel about her skin. The little brown skin girl who still hasn’t digested the subliminals. You. Are . Beautiful.

The tv screen doesn’t always show it. I wish I could be the one to create more Moesha sitcoms for you. I’m happy that you get to see the Tiana’s and Black Panther movies, but that’s only the start. (I’m banking on Issa, I feel like she’s got the show ideas)

I want you to know that who you choose to love should never make you feel like you are the exception that met their standards “ cute for a darksin” should never be a thing.

I want you to feel good when the make up artist has to mix three different shades to try and get your color because you are unique.

I want you to know that we are longgg past the days where we are trying to pass for white. You were given your color by people who fought for it. One of the greatest gifts you should live in proudly.

I want you to love yourself enough to realize that just being who you are is your biggest flex. No need for wearing yellow, having a huge fro, or being oiled up in a bikini on the beach to be reposted on Instagram .( even though that’s definitely a look too)

I want this post to go to the little brown skin girl who will eventually have to fight to feel just as pretty. Don’t fight. Colorism has no true winners.

Colorism isn’t cute on anyone. If you aren’t speaking up in these rooms with people who feel the need to make judgment based on color, you’re apart of the problem. With something as deeply rooted as this, we all have to work together to make sure this isn’t a topic we still have to debate on with our kids.