Friends With What Benefit?

Friends With What benefit?

Back again, but this time on why we should stop dating men. Kidding, kidding I don’t need anyone DMing me with the arguments and like always, I have experience with men so that's who I speak on, but anyone who’s not the right one can make you have to sit with a lot of questionable decisions.

Anywaysssss… I was recently watching a video on how you can tell a guy that you guys don’t have to be anything serious and he takes that as he can lie to you, run on his time and only call you at 2am…. Basically, you not being his gf means you just don’t deserve the respect any regular human would get?

I, as you guys know if you’ve read my other blogs, am pro having fun and seeing where things go if you think you aren’t ready for something serious. I am also pro setting the standard in any situation of course and it can look a little different when you’re in more of a “care free” situation. So, this is just some of the things I am starting to consider when I’m with someone where I’m questioning what lines I should cross.

1. What would make this situation the most fun for you: When you’re dating someone there is going to be some type of investment no matter how “chill” you guys try to make it. The “honeymoon phase” should be a fun investment though, getting to know each other in ways that can make sure you’re both having a good time. Emphasis on the both. For example, If you like going on dates and they envision you guys' situation being laid up in the house all the time. They may not be fit for the position.

2. Remember the status: This oneeeeeeee, yikes. I’m about to contradict myself, but it’s all going to hopefully make sense. Titles don’t mean everything. Like I stated in the first point, you want to have as much fun as possible so stating your standard is almost never doing too much. Howeverrrr, to also keep things fun and in a good space, you don’t want to pour yourself completely into someone who may not be in a space where they are pouring completely into you. If it’s not talked about and agreed on, don’t assume. Please, save yourself a lot of the “ I thought it was understood, but it wasn’t” moments. GIRLFRIEND TITLE DOES COME WITH DIFFERENT PRIVILEGES.

3. “ It’s the principle” cliche, but always true: Gut feelings. Go with them because you’re probably right. If you feel like you aren’t getting what you want out of this or what you deserve standard wise , you probably aren’t. You can mention what you’re feeling, but if I’ve learned nothing else from the people I’ve talked to it’s “ if they wanted to, they would” is a very true quote. People can only play a role for so long. When you start picking up on those red flags, believe them.

“ Friends with benefits”, whatever that benefit may be isn’t made for everyone. Even people who are built for a relationship like that can not have a good experience solely from the grey areas being a little too grey. Protect your peace and don’t try to be something for someone just to fill a space you feel you think is empty in your own life. You are too raw to accept any less. You are the benefit.