Singles Club
Singles Club
Soooooo, if you follow my Pretty Standard Instagram then you probably read the post I made about my “season of singleness” and how I didn’t feel like I was living mine out “right.” Well, I’m here to basically say that I’m a new person and everything I said was a reach --- Ok, not really, but really. I do have a slight change of heart though because I’m continuing to learn that almost nothing is definite and different people need different things. I think I’m coming to terms with my ideals of singleness just being different than what I’ve read. I’m here to give no definite answers and I’m hoping we can talk my thoughts out together? Welcome to the club.
Lets see, where do we start? Breaking this down into three points will help us all out with organization. So, here we go..
1. Self care looks different everyday and is different from person to person, so why is our single period not looked at the same? I blame social media for a lot of things and this idea is definitely one. When thinking about self care, I’m not going to just put a face mask on and run a bubble bath every night and expect it to heal all my problems because that’s what worked yesterday. Yesterday I was feeling tense, today I feel disorganized. So, I open my google calendars. When it comes to my singleness, let’s just say in college. I needed to be alone at first because I was finding a lot of things out about myself at a rapid rate freshman and sophomore year. I personally couldn’t balance learning with someone else. Now, as a senior, I feel more in tune with who I am as well as what I’m willing to offer. So, dating isn’t completely off the table.
2. We don’t seem to add friendships to these equations and I feel some type of way about this. Friendships can be a big factor in stunting or enhancing your self growth experience. I’ve seen people tend to accept when others around them keep friends who aren't adding value, but as soon as it’s a significant other that fills the toxic role, everyone is up in arms. A season of singleness seems to be effectively done when we take a step back and evaluate traits that we obtain and how ALL relationships around us are adding or taking away from those values.
3. This goes similar to my first point, but you don't have to be single to prepare for your “person.” Life comes with a lot of lessons. Choosing to be single isn’t always a choice and when it is, you may be a person who realizes that entertaining doesn’t distract you. Not everyone needs to be completely alone to fully embrace being single because they may struggle to, for example, opening up to people. How will isolating yourself help with committing? Some people do need that time to get to know and love themselves because they may be codependent and find themselves fitting the mold of their partner instead of what they need for themselves. However, over all, dating with clear intentions even if they aren't the “one” can be good practice.
I'm not saying that what I read was wrong, but more so broadening the lens. To be honest, with being single or in a relationship, self awareness isn’t easy to maintain. Knowing your distractions and what seems to benefit you will be a lot of trial and error. Whether single or taken we always continue to grow and set the standards over here. I send a special shout out to my singles though because girllllll and for all my fresh singles who read this…. Welcome to the club.
