The ICK

The Ick

“Where attraction to a current or potential partner is suddenly flipped to a feeling of disgust.”

My first draft of writing this was literally listing out all the things that have made the “ The Ick” worthy line up. Too many emojis, asking for my snap chat, short sleeved hoodies, all potential ick triggers. After I typed my list out, I got curious of what others had on theirs and went to twitter and TikTok to see this:

1. Drinks whole milk

2. Asking for a drink and the bartender doesn’t hear them

3. Only wears one airpod

Okay, These were funny. ” Ick” lists are so personal and sometimes pure comedy that it’s just a funny thing to compare with others. So, I kept looking:

1. Too nice

2. Doesn’t play hard to get

3. Seems too excited when I call

Wait, am I still on the “ Ick” hashtag? We don’t want people that want us? Wait no, we want people that want us, but just not too much. Nope, that’s not it either. We want people that really want us, but they just can’t show it. Okay. I think I’m confusing myself until I came across the post with the answer.

The person said, “ Sometimes the Ick is not what the man does, but the Ick is the man.”

Sometimes the Ick is not what the man does, but who the man is.

Sometimes the Ick is not what the man does, it’s the expectations we see on social media.

Sometimes the Ick is not what the man does, but the expectation of the man that we create.

Now let me clarify, am I typically turned off by someone who uses too many emojis? Yes. What about if the first point of contact they ask me for is Snap. A yikes. Am I talking to someone who’s wearing a short sleeved hoodie? If they looked like Trevante Rhodes… Maybe.

The Ick list is hypocritical. You can drink whole milk, be too nice, be excited to answer my calls if I’ve already decided that I like you. Most people have a type.Their type may not be strongly enforced, but always duly noted when assessing a person and that’s okay. We have to admit it. People get away with a lot more when we are already bidding on them. It may be something about their looks, or maybe we instantly click with their personality.

When we are picking people that we actually like, the “Ick” becomes an afterthought.

We are mad that the person is being too nice because we don’t want them to be anything to us. The ugly truth. If they fit what you like, the Ick becomes tolerable.

The hard part is, we honestly just don’t tolerate much in this generation. I asked a question on if we are phasing out of having life long partners, but after reading some of these Ick responses I think the actual question is are we fading out of commitment or has the world's view of commitment changed. It’s like we walk into most things with one foot already out. We are waiting for them to send too many emojis so that we can leave.

The Ick is an excuse to leave.

Don’t get me wrong, we all have our random pet peeves turned dealbreakers. However…When the small things become big and the Ick traits seem to be a consistent reason of why you are walking away, it may be time to take a step back and evaluate if we are dating the type of people that we actually like. After this blog post, I’m adding people that say the Ick to my list lol.