Throwback Tuesday

You know, you really learn a lot about yourself when you don’t add the pressure of thinking you have to learn everything about who you are by tomorrow. You learn even more when you become okay with the idea that you will have to keep unlearning and then learning yourself again because as we grow, we will look different.

College, for me, was the moment that I became hyper aware of those differences. Being able to step away from all of the things that I thought embodied me and then stepping into the freedom that opened up the doors to exploring myself without sideline commentary made for a lot of time to break down who I really am.

One of my biggest realizations was that I thought I was in a pretty good space because I never really identified as having confidence issues growing up, but I found out that I had embraced a phase of my life that was arguably worse.

I just didn’t consider who I was at all.

Coming into college, I truly did not feel anything about myself. Not insecure, but not confident. Just, Morgan. This is just as vulnerable of a space to be in as what I thought I had been avoiding. Differences became scary when I couldn’t trust who I was enough to be able to get through them.

So, I had to take a step back and really start to define myself. With this, I was able to also define the things and people around me and here is what I noticed:

1. The people that have it all together don’t have it all together: Once I realized that I didn’t have a clear understanding of who I was, I also realized that I really didn’t have a clear understanding of who anyone was lol. No one has it all together all the time, authenticity can be faked and there is beauty in a person who knows what to share about themselves.

2. Your personality is for you, the right people will like it: Wanting to be liked is natural, but needing to be liked is where we start to see ourselves molding our personalities to what we think the people around us want, rather than who we enjoy being. We are giving people around us too much credit, they don’t know who they want you to be either. The right people will come naturally through the process.

3. We all need a period where we aren’t hyper sensitive about how people view us.Will this generation have this: I’m not going to lie, I look back at some of my childhood photos like “how did I make it out” lol. With social media starting so young with kids now I truly hope they get some time to just be young.

4. A “ glow up” is only as far as our mindsets: You can look “better” and not feel better about yourself. No amount of other people validating you can make you feel validated. It’s easy to feel stuck when we don’t continue to be self aware.

5. Healthy you is the best you. Skin, hair, mentally ect: Not to be another person to force self care down your throat, but I have quickly learned that it is a luxury to be able to book those dentist and doctor appointments,so do it. Going to therapy and getting that skin care routine is a confidence booster. You can’t grow if your body isn’t up to date.

I want us to be intentional with ourselves. We owe ourselves this. I want us to really be patient with ourselves and not be scared to bet on us. We are here for a purpose and like Denzel said “Fail Fast”. The best thing I could have done was notice. Notice myself, notice what I like, notice where I could grow. Notice the differences because when you start to learn yourself, they aren’t as scary.